Urban autumn / Kneeling lamb

Urban autumn / Kneeling lamb 

While striving through the city and its periphery I recently discovered that I am quite responsive to my natural surroundings. Which astonishes me because I never considered nature would influence my aesthetics behaviourally. Of course I can say that every environment leaves a mark on the individual (e.g. according to David Adjaye ¹ ² ³), thus it must have left a mark within me. But I think there is something else behind it. A former colleague of mine once said that she visited Germany and was surprised about the beauty of its colours during autumn: a thing which does not occur in her home country. It was a beautiful moment in itself, a memory which is shown as a facial expression, as pure vividness. Her eyes glared while speaking about her reminiscence. Maybe it was more this moment which let me think about autumn colours differently. It's not so much the colour per se but the liveliness I am looking for. As if others have to show me how to feel these moments of intensity. And I, consequentially, try to get there, as if this would be a competition for the richness of experiences in one's life.

Another comment fits into this pattern. A peculiar observation made by a friend, something which troubles me since. The accusation of not having developed an aestheticism on my own, but being merely and superficially influenced by others, temporarily only, to show an inclination where there is none. Another friend would have added the term of being an 'intellectual lightweight': to be someone, who says something in order to please someone else, without a sense of what pleases the own eyes and the own mind and without a detailed knowledge (in a broad sense). What a curse.